Written by matwil
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Monday, 16 June 2008

image for 'Chuck Berry isn't white', claims John McCain
'Right on, bro!'

Today Republican election candidate John McCain made the astonishing claim that rock'n'rolling legend Chuck Berry isn't white.

The Republican Party has made endless hints that Democrat candidate Barack Obama isn't black and isn't white, to try and confuse voters, so Mr McCain will say that Berry isn't black next week.

Speaking from his house in St. Louis, Mr Berry shrugged and said: 'So what? I play the guitar, Barack does politics, McCain doesn't, what does anyone's color matter?'

But Hillary Clinton interrupted to say: 'We need a committee formed to defend the discrimination against black performers who don't sound black enough, and don't wear suits and play trumpets, but dare to play wild rock'n'roll on guitars. Jimi Hendrix was hounded to death by such discrimination, just ask that Anglo-African Eric Clapton.'

The media has suggested that Mr McCain's claim is due to him being completely bland and uninteresting with no policies, though of course that is usually an advantage in US elections, but nevertheless he is managing to make Senator Obama seem like an interesting and intelligent candidate, something deemed impossible only a few months ago. 'Well, I was getting desperate', McCain said, 'I thought this might wake people up', and with that he wandered away for his afternoon sleep.

Any suggestion that this is the dullest election in American history were denied by officials at the White House. 'We deny it', said one advisor, 'wonder when the golf's on?' Chuck Berry isn't sweet little 16 tomorrow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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