Written by Fish
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Sunday, 8 June 2008

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Never Again

Philadelphia PA - The City of Brotherly Love has abandoned its traditional Independence Day fireworks. The city will screen Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth' for the public instead.

The birthplace of America has decided to set an example for the nation by banning fireworks which release a large amount of carbon dioxide when they explode.Barbecues were banned last year for the same reason. Except they don't explode as often.

City residents seemed resigned to the new world order.

"It will help the world survive, so I'm for it. And I think I still have 1997's firework display on video, so it's no biggee." said Philadelphia native Cathy Dummlap.

Other residents took a more militant stand.

"They should ban the whole day! It's nothing but a militaristic, violent, white-male dominated, anti-wymyn, anti-earth holiday. I still feel so ashamed." said Micheal Oboma. Mr. Oboma is husband of the presidential candidate.

Some will miss the fireworks. Mr. Fish is 98 years old and has seen every display since 1912. "I hate people now. When did all the lunatics gain control of everything? I hope all these freaks get exactly what they deserve." said the grouchy old Mr. Fish.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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