In an official announcement, it was revealed today that Hillary Clinton is actually the daughter of German dictator, Adolf Hitler. A spokesman for the Senator said: 'Yes, Mrs. Clinton's father was actually Adolf Hitler. She will be making a statement shortly.'
All the signs have been obvious for a long time, the shrill authoritative voice, the waving of arms and pointing of fingers, the egomania and self-obsession, the hunger for power, and even the dreadful dress sense and weird hair. So it came as no surprise to the public that this was finally confirmed.
Walking out to a rally of her supporters, Mrs. Clinton said: 'Of course it's true! Think of all the ridiculous things I've made up, think of my delusional behavior, think of my backstabbing and betrayal of any opponent - my father would be proud of me.'
When one journalist pointed out to her that Hitler had actually become a President, unlike herself, she began shrieking: 'I'll be President! I will! Just you wait and see! You'll regret saying that!'
And Californian Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said: 'What's wrong with having a Nazi dad? Never did me or John F Kennedy any harm.' Bill Clinton was as far away from his wife as possible, on a skiing holiday in Austria.