(Washington & Chicago & Points In Between) - Presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama decided to get his relationship with the press off to a strong start by playing a game of hide and seek with with them yesterday. Aides suggested this game playing could be a regular thing for the Senator, adding, "He can't wait to break out the Chutes and Ladders."
Attempting to change the hostile relationship most politicians have with the media, Senator Obama decided a little friendly game playing would be just the ticket for loosening up the normally grumpy media members who accompany him on the campaign trail. After Obama got on his plane, reporter Pustule Flatulence of the Washington Times was told to count to 1,304,432 before he and the other reporters stationed with the campaign boarded the plane to search for the candidate.
Little did the press know that while they had their eyes covered during Flatulence's countdown, Obama strapped himself into the emergency ejection seat, pulled the safety lever, was rocketed into the air over the tarmac, then parachuted safely down into a waiting convertible 1992 Mazada Miata. By the time the reporters began searching the plane for the Senator, he was already safely tucked into bed at Diane Feinstein's house, waiting for his secret "meeting" with Feinstein and Hillary Clinton to begin.
"We are professional reporters, so after we were in the air, we sort of suspected something was up," said Rita Ramsbottom, correspondent for the Large Posterior Weekly. "We had looked in every bathroom and overhead bin on the plane. He was nowhere to be found. Also, the campaign put out the good booze for a change. No Mad Dog 20/20 for once, just pure malt scotch. By the time we started sobering up, we were in the air and headed for Chicago, and Obama was in bed getting his hummer from Feinstein and Hillary."
Obama Media Relations Director Henry Gondorf admitted he pulled a little bit of a con job on the press.
"Honestly, we never thought it would work. I mean, it was really junior high school level trickery, but they just swallowed the hook like Jamie Lynn Spears swallowing a . . . well, let's just say they fell for it."
An outraged press corps was quickly mollified when they learned of the free booze and the special in flight movie, the new participatory comedy Everyone Does Jamie Lynn Spears. By the time the plane landed at O'Hare International Airport, everyone on board was either sleeping or shagging. Some were doing both at the same time.
The new Clinton campaign spokesman, a former homeless man who was hired just that day in exchange for free soup, declined to comment on the "hummer" but did mention that the game playing was unusual.
"Just another reason why Senator Clinton should be the nominee and Barack should be working for Milton Bradley."