Washington DC - Officials here reported that after farting, President Bush's head shrank at least three inches, causing many Americans to state "that explains a lot."
"The President has suffered from headaches and constipation for quite some time," said White House spokesman Frederick Reynolds. "We just never thought the two were connected."
Reynolds said that he was in the Oval Office with Bush when he farted.
"The President was signing some papers," said Reynolds. "Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling. It was so loud that I even looked outside the window to see if one of the helicopters was landing on the lawn."
Reynolds stated that he then observed the President's head shrinking for the same length of time as the fart had lasted.
"It was like watching a helium balloon deflate," said Reynolds. "When the fart noise faded away, the shrinking stopped. His ears shrunk a little too, and when he looked up and said 'excuse me,' he sounded like Mini-Me from Austin Powers."
Reynolds said that after the head-shrinking fart, President Bush acted just a little less like a "pompous jerk," but not much less.
"He was actually nice to me," said Reynolds. "It was a refreshing couple of seconds."
President Bush then returned to being a money-hungry, never-been-wrong hot-head.