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Wednesday, 4 June 2008

image for John McCain 'Feeling Left Out'
John McCain: Lonely

John McCain, the current presidential candidate for the Republican party in the US elections, is rumoured to be considering a transfer to the Democratic Party. One of McCain's closest aides revealed that the party leader has been feeling "really left out" lately, referring to the relentless and ongoing battle between Clinton and Obama.

The Republican insider described how McCain has become quiet and withdrawn since his isolation from the electoral contest. "He thought that, as a contender for President, he'd have countless opportunities to back-bite his opponents, fabricate his past and lie about his policies; but with the world's attention on the Democrats no-one's even bothered to ask him."

The party has apparently been staging fake interviews and creating false allegations for McCain to try to maintain the honesty-evasion skills necessary for success in politics; but despite this he has confided to his closest advisors that he would like to swap parties to create some controversy.

An official spokesperson for the Republicans fuelled the speculation by stating that the claims were "probably not true", and then proceeded to ask the assembled journalists whether they had heard the other rumours circulating about McCain. A full list of the rumours, including one about an Albanian mountain goat named "Cheryl", was made available to reporters at the end of the press conference, each accompanied by a lengthy denial.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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