In the early days of the Republic, brave and wise US political leaders debated how much a human being who was a slave should be counted. They needed a number in order to calculate the amount of representatives for each state. Slave holding states wanted the people that they kept in involuntary servitude to be counted in their population. States which had no slaves but throngs of wage slaves disagreed. A now famous three-fifths compromise was hammered in which wage slave holding states got three-fifths of bourbon for every slave counted if they wouldn't complain anymore.
The Democratic Party has decided that Michigan and Florida delegates are not even worth three-fifths. As punishment for pre-mature primary ejaculations( some people are just in a state wherein they just get too excited to hold back), the delegates from the early squirting states will only be one half persons at the Democratic Convention.
Besides robbing Hillary of many of her most ardent supporters, this arrangement is creating tremendous problems for convention planners. The most frequently asked questions that have been vexing the planners have been:
- Can you put two half persons in a hotel room with a single bed?
Should half persons be charged full price for amenities?
What do you charge a half person for the half priced happy hour?
Can two half persons buy a hooker for the price of just one person?
Democratic Party leaders seem to be more concerned about anther campaign issue. Their FAQ has been:
- Now that Hillary has cut Obama off at the waist, does that make him a Michigan or Florida delegate?