Hillary Clinton was today announced as the winner of the World Straw Clutching competition, for her performance in the Democratic nomination elections.
Head of the WSC, Jed Burns (a former Big Brother contestant turned model/actor), said 'We are impressed with the way she has handled herself. Without any sense of personal dignity or any actual evidence she has clung to the vain idea that she will actually win the nomination. She has had no hesitation in changing the rules of the game to make it seem like she is ahead and has used weasel words to present herself to the Amercian public as a serious contender. All of us here at WSC are in awe.'
Hillary Clinton was delighted - "I won? I won something? Does the black guy still get in? Where's my pant suit? I need to make an empty speech to re-inflate my ego. Bill put her down"