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Topics: Senate, Ancient, rome

Monday, 2 June 2008

Dateline Rome, 15 Octavio, 112 BC: Senators from all parts of the empire have been convened in a special session of the Roman Legislature by Senator Obamicus.

Debate and then consensus needs to be reached by this august body on bringing the 10th Roman Legion home from Mesopotamia by the Ides of March next year in time for the games. Senator Obamicus is vying with several other Senators to replace the aging Emperor Bushitis to carry the scepter and the burden of empire on his shoulders.

Emperor Bushitis sent several legions to Mesopotamia in 107 BC to rid this area of the brutal warlord Hussein the Terrible. Under their able commander General Petraeus's leadership, the Roman Legions have performed admirably. In the words of the emperor, you did a hell of a job general and accomplished the mission." However many Senators feel it is time to bring at least one legion of soldiers home.

This Senate vote is especially critical as rumors have been spreading through out Rome that Emperor Bushitis is preparing to send the legions to Persia, against another vicious warlord Ahmenajad the Crazy. Senator Clintonia, the only woman in the Roman Senate, has voiced her objection to another reckless adventure by Emperor Bushitis. Senator Clintonia is also vying with several other Senators to replace the aging Emperor Bushitis to carry the scepter and the burden of empire on her shoulders.

Just returned from his fact finding trip to Mesopotamia, Roman Consul McLellaneo has circulated a Latin parchment in the baths and the marble halls of the Senate. This volume purportedly accuses Emperor Bushitis of misleading the Roman Senate and people about the origins of the Mesopotamia War. The reasons given for the war he says were "propaganda and faex."

Senator McCainius, a long time friend of Emperor Bushitis and an old experienced member of the Senate is in favor of a more cautious approach to removing the legions from Mesopotamia. However, the Senator did offer some sage advice that future emperors should be careful about engaging in overseas wars where the outcome is unpredictable. Suppose Rome were to invade and occupy Palestine, who knows what the consequences would be over the next 21 centuries? Senator McCainius is also vying with several other Senators to replace the aging Emperor Bushitis to carry the scepter and the burden of empire on his shoulders.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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