United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was mistaken for an Iraqi Prisoner today and experienced abuse by the US troops first hand.
Mistaken for an Iraqi terrorist, Rumsfeld was immediately taken to prison by US troops and forced to strip to his boxer shorts. Rumsfeld was subjected to many forms of abuse, including being forced to listen to hours of "The Nanny" star Fran Drescher singing "Feelings." "I was shocked at first," Rumsfeld stated, "but then they started the chocolate pudding bath torture, and I began to have a good time."
A rescue attempt was made by Rumsfeld's staff, but when they failed to pry his hands from the door of his holding cell, they retreated. "It's almost as if he wanted to stay there to do research." said Rumsfeld bodyguard Ssgt. Hal Baker, "He kept yelling 'Spank me Mommy!' and then he bit my hand."