In the wake of reports in which President Bush claimed to have been directed by God to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, the president stated in a Tuesday press conference that several of his domestic policies are also of divine inspiration.
"God told me to bring freedom to Social Security," Bush told an assembly of reporters in Washington, D.C., commenting on his poorly-received plan to privatize Social Security. "And then he told me to end the tyranny of the Death Tax."
Other actions taken by Bush over the years have also been requests to orders from God, the president revealed. "God told me that we'd have to use executive privilege to keep aides from testifying to Congress," Bush said. "And then God told me to push key elements into the investigation of my administration's handling of pre-war intelligence to after the 2004 election.
"Whew!" Bush exclaimed. "I owe you one for that little nugget of wisdom, God!"
Other legislation and initiatives that Bush has championed at God's request include the Dominican Republic-Central America Free Trade Agreement of 2005, the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006 and the Medicare Act of 2003.
Bush expressed frustration at the press conference, saying that the national media has failed to understand his underlying message.
"Nobody has had the courage to stand up and say that my detractors are, in fact, anti-God," the president said. "Look -- I'm just following orders from the Man Upstairs. If you're against my policies, you're really against the Lord."