Death Valley, California - (Fetid Mess): Federal agents have abandoned their excavations of Charles Manson's Barking Mad Ranch after a tip-off that more victims' bodies lie buried some 1,500 miles due south-east under the tribute artiste known as George Bush Senior's Presidential Library and Museum at College Station, Brazos County, Texas.
The tip-off follows new evidence that the original George Herbert W Bush and his sloshed alkie firstborn George Walker Bush were despatched by a Charles Manson hitman hired by Barbara Bush during a three month tequila and Quaalude bender just before the JFK assassination in 1963.
Father and son were hastily buried under the Bush family's former Midland, Texas ranch and replaced with a Cuban-born KBG father and son combo, both sired by Hitler's Pope Pius XII.
The Bush Senior clone, real name Frank Geli, was spawned by the fascist Queen Mother tribute artiste Violet Freeman after a hellish weekend bender in the Vatican spent emptying Pope Leo XIII's gold medal-winning cocaine/wine brew Vin Mariani from the pontifical booze cabinet.
Some years later his half brother, John Geli, was conceived under similar auspices when the Hitler-sired daughter of Unity Mitford - the Nazi-fellating daughter of the second Baron Redesdale - was molested by Pius in a Wagnerian-inspired Rite of Spring fertility ritual to raise the Anti-Christ.
"The uterine Geli brothers' fate was to look like dead ringers for the Bush father/son combo," a NATO archivist sighed today.
"And thereby hangs a tale..."