Written by Phillip T. Stephens
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Thursday, 29 May 2008

image for McCain Abandons White House for Stardom
McCain practices the trademark smirk he will use with comedy routines

Fresh off his giddy success on Saturday Night Live and late night talk shows over the past two weeks, Republican Presidential Nominee John McCain announced he is leaving politics for show business.

"I got more air time for Saturday Night Live than I ever did for one of my campaign speeches," the candidate explained at last night's press conference. "Then I found out the President only gets paid $400,000 a year. Jay Leno makes 31 million and he gets time off for reruns. You do the math."

Highlights of McCain's Saturday Night Live appearance appeared on news broadcasts, morning and evening talk shows and even comedy newscasts for two weeks following. A recent CNN survey showed that more Americans believed his comedy routines than his campaign promises. Eighteen percent of respondents answered yes to the question, "I finally know who's running against Obama and Hillary."

McCain, whose foremost Presidential qualification was had been his advanced age, told reporters, "Look at President Bush. People laugh at him all the time and it's an embarrassment. Now, when they laugh at me, it's what I want them to do. What's the downside?"

He assured devoted followers they shouldn't be upset over his departure from the race. "In a hundred years, we'll all be dead. Actually, it will be a lot sooner for me. I think it's better that we all die laughing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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