Written by Quorum of One
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Thursday, 29 May 2008

image for White House McClellan critique hits nail on head
There's at least one White House employee who describes himself as "gruntled".

George W. Bush's staff was quick to respond to the upcoming publication of "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception", a memoir by former White House press secretary Scott McClellan that severely criticizes the administration's handling of essentially every major issue it has faced since taking power in 2001.

The current White House press secretary, Dana Perino, called McClellan "disgruntled" concerning "his experience at the White House," which included, according to McClellan, unwittingly perpetuating bald-faced, cynical, pernicious falsehoods about the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina, the Valerie Plame case, etc., etc., thereby being duped into contributing to pointless and counterproductive international tensions, precipitous worldwide economic decline and the willful ruination of perhaps millions of human lives.

"Why can't he look on the bright side?" Perino complained. "He's all like doom and disaster, Henny Penny -- Ooooh! The sky is falling! Oh, wait..."

To establish her credentials as a literary critic, Perino claimed that she has personally read "probably more than 100" books since childhood, and went on to describe Gulliver as "adventuresome", Jane Eyre as "good-natured", Tom Joad as "disadvantaged", Humbert Humbert as "pervy", Nancy Drew as "plucky", Horton as "overweight" and Holden Caulfield as "kind of messed up".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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