Written by matwil
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Topics: Americans, Sarcasm

Monday, 26 May 2008

It was announced today that the United States is to open a University of Irony, in Chatanooga Creek, Oklahoma.

Professor Indiana Vindaloo, a world irony expert, said: 'Yes, we have full courses, and second ones too, and double fries at lunchtime, to try and teach American adults the art and science of irony, something that the British can understand at the age of four. We're hoping that Americans will sign up soon.'

'Heck', President George W. Embarrassment said, on hearing the news, 'the day those limeys teach us ironing is the day we win the US Misters against them.'

But some Americans weren't so happy about their fellow countrymen learning irony.

Speaking from his African straw hut, Senator Barackplaytheracecard Obama, said: 'Irony is not to be laughed at, if it involves any grown-up themes. And the Democrat candidates are all grown-ups, look at me mommy, I'm in the news!' But Republican John McCain, another Presidential nobody, said: 'Can I buy shares in irony?'

From Arkansas, Senator Hillary Clinton had this to say: 'Does irony mean me only being famous because of my husband,who I hate? And does it mean America destroying a Middle Eastern country to help it?'

Sarcasm was unavailable for comment, though it did say: 'Yeah right, irony, sure! Next thing the British will be inventing the wheel!'

Laura Bush was ironing George's socks as we went to press - ironically.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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