While Barack Obama is taking the oath of office on inauguration day, it has been uncovered that Hillary Clinton is planning to invade the White House in a coup de e-tat, guarding the premises with paid members of WEWA, an acronym for the Women's Elasticized Waistband Army. WEWA will also commandeer Air Force One, Camp David, all the D.C. Pizza Huts and Krispy Kreams.
For the swearing in ceremony, Hillary intends to wear a greenish-brown camouflage pantsuit, (not designed by Marc Jacobs) made of twill fabric with the elasticized waistband. This pantsuit will be available at Target Stores for future WEWA members. Keppies, the official hat, will be sold separately. No Lewinsky berets in this army.
Former president Bill Clinton will administer the oath of office, while daughter Chelsea holds the family bible. Also present will be both of Mrs. Clinton's missing brothers Tony and Hugh Rodham, who appear to have been vanquished during her presidential campaign. There seems to have been allegations about selling presidential pardons in the waning months of Bill Clinton's presidency. The swearing in for this coup will be a private family ceremony held in the War Room of the White House.
During her inauguration speech, Hillary will remain adamant, insisting that she knows what's best for the country and has the approval of: Saturday Night Live, Karl Rove, Jack Nicholson and WEWA; the broadest base of anyone running; women's support at 51% of the population; and if you counted Puerto Rico, Cuba and Mexico, (all three have hard working people) it would be a landslide...
"...You say tomato and I say tomato..."
With the nation threatened and perhaps in peril for several days, weeks and maybe years, Dick Cheney will leap into action and immediately demand his sixth military deferment. George Bush will make a quickie dental appointment and skip town on a fast jet headed for Crawford, Texas. Alberto Gonzalez, (remember him?) will announce that he had nothing to do with the current Clinton coup, or any previous or future coup; and with the approval of five members of the Supreme Court, another president will be selected.
Finally, Hillary Clinton will prove she was indeed ready from day one!