Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Tuesday, 20 May 2008

image for Doctors shocked: 'Ted' Kennedy is JFK
Filmed in a closed set at Paramount.

US Democratic Senator Edward Kennedy has been discovered to be an imposter after being hospitalized, stunned doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital told reporters.

Mr Kennedy, alleged 76 years old, was flown from Cape Cod to the hospital in Boston at the weekend after suffering a seizure.

Doctors say preliminary tests revealed that their patient is not the Kennedy who was elected seven times since 1962 to his Massachusetts senatorial seat, but is actually 90 year old former US President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, commonly assumed to be dead.

"Preliminary results from a biopsy of the brain identified minute shrapnel along the trajectory of the 'magic bullet' thought to have caused President John Kennedy's tragic Dallas death by assassination in 1963," doctors Lee and Harvey said in a statement.

Mr Kennedy's senatorial 'treatment' will be decided after his hospital release but the usual course includes random heckling, expulsion from the Senate, and ritual pelting with rancid tomatoes, his spokesman said.

He is expected to remain in hospital for the next few days while dozens of highly paid Kennedy Compound spin-doctors work out a plausible excuse for the deception.

Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy has not yet issued a statement from the beyond, but Mary Jo Kopechne had a number of colorful remarks, none of which were printable.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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