New Yawk, NY-- The recent illness of Obama superdelegate Teddie Kennedy has many other Obama supporters looking behind their backs and checking their health insurance policies. Many superdelegates are now supporting Hillary Clinton after a weekend filled with bizarre accidents and illnesses.
Teddie Kennedy's stroke Saturday in Hi-anus-port was only one example of fatal and near fatal 'mishaps' to befall the star-crossed Obama superdelegates.
Congressman Ben Enspreadum was an Obama superdelegate. He accidentally shot himself six times in the head while cleaning his gun at home Sunday. A stray bullet also killed his wife, three kids, the dog and seven goldfish.
Senator Hilda Hisler of California betrayed Ms. Clinton by supporting Obama. She accidentally garroted herself while taking off her bra. Somehow she also managed to cut off and eat all ten fingers at the same time.
Governor Eddie Spendhell of Pennsylvania also died in an unusual accident Sunday morning. He accidentally beheaded himself with an electric razor while shaving. His wife and two kids also died, apparently from Ebola.
Former Clinton cabinet member and recent Obama superdelegate Kit Bracken suddenly changed her mind. Her son and daughter were both accidentally butchered and eaten at a barbecue she attended on Sunday. She announced her Clinton support after her stomach was pumped.
Bill Clinton saw these tragedies as a sign. "Clintons just can't lose." chuckled the former president. "This kind of luck began with me in Arkansas and now it's happening with Hillary. We just refuse to lose and now everyone is just dying to support us."