Washington, DC - McCain denies he has broken his campaign promise to the American people, not to be a cookie cutter third term of the Bush administration, by spot lighting the endorsement of the terrorist group Hamas of Obama, though critics say he has already done just that. McCain also denies any similarities between his plans to deal with Obama and his supporters, whom, by his logic, he regards as terrorists, and that of Bush's plan to deal with illegal immigration.
"McCain has asked the State Department to classify all Blue States as state sponsors of terrorism, stripping their citizens of their right to vote and seizing both state and privately owned property, bring it all under the authority of the federal government," said a Republican, who defected to Obama.
"What's wrong with that? It will be perfectly legal," said a spokesman for McCain. "Besides we have bipartisan support on our side too. Senator Hillary Clinton is a co-author of the bill to forestall the November 2008 Presidential Election indefinitely, should she fail to win the Democratic presidential nomination or McCain the Presidency."
After suspending the voters' rights of Obama supporters and seizing their private property, McCain will then begin deporting them back to the country of their origin or that of their ancestors.
Or as is the case of most Americans, coming from a background of mix heritage, like their leader Obama, and one cannot choose one ancestor over the other, one will be selected for them based their favorite ethnic food selection they made on a survey questionnaire they filled out while in detention camp.
"It may not be the one most suitable for you, but at least you'll find it more palatable to your taste buds," said a supporter of the McCain plan.
Once deported, they can apply for citizenship at the local American embassy. Waiting outside, standing in long lines for hours and carrying homemade protest signs, all the while still finding time to support their families.
That is once the exiled Americans stripped of their citizenship agree to undergo and pass a rigorous screening process, which includes a mental evaluation and health examination, conservative allegiance orientation reprogramming and making it to the semi-finals of the new "American Gladiators" TV show.
Only then will the lucky winner will be allowed to re-enter the United States of America under the new guest worker program.
The country will continue to benefit from the fruits of their labor of both groups but stripped of any chance at citizenship, they will not vote, meddling into the affairs of state, according to McCain's plan.
Critics of the McCain's plan point out that Americans, unlike their illegal immigrant counterparts, whose countries granted them dual citizenship status, most Americans being deported were born in America and married Americans, making them ineligible for dual citizenship status recognized by any foreign government.
"Nonsense they have to take them in," said a spokesman for McCain. "Just because they were born here and have every eight to remain here as Americans doesn't that they can. Just like the thousands of American children born of illegal aliens, after the year 2000, are being deported back with their parents to the country of their origin, they too will be deported right along side of them."
McCain calls his plan America's "New Raw Deal" after a movie of the same title and the culinary questionnaire deportees will be filling out.