Washington, DC - In what some are calling a desperate attempt to increase her standing in the popular poll today and gain future pledge delegates and superdelegates tomorrow, Hillary Clinton made an astonishing announcement today, proclaiming herself to be a Pro-Life candidate - quite possibly the Democratic Party's first ever in a presidential nominee contender.
Political pundits dismissed her announcement, however, as insincere, the latest in a series of desperate attempts in the struggle to keep her name in the newspaper.
"She's trying to keep her campaign relevant until she gets to the DNC convention floor in Colorado this summer where she can do some real damage," said a political science professor from the Cassandra Institute of Foresight.
Clinton is said to be quite content that she has finally secured the popular vote poll.
"Especially from a constituency that her opponent sought to overlook, simply because its suspended in amniotic fluid," said a spokesperson for Clinton.
Critics argue that Clinton's claim to have secured the popular vote among the unborn cannot be substantiated.
"Even if it could be," said a critic of Clinton. "It still wouldn't count, because they cannot technically vote for her just yet."
"No matter," said a spokesperson for Clinton. "What popular vote ever does count? It's the pledge and superdelegates that really…Oh, who are we kidding? It's been and always will be just the superdelegates that only counts. Hillary just wanted to make sure she got the popular vote somewhere. Even if it was from someone's womb."