Written by W.D. Nelson
Print this
Topics: Catholic, college

Sunday, 18 May 2008

image for Women's Catholic College Struggles to Admit Men
Rosebud College is looking forward to a "Bar Party" like the one Coed Colleges experience.

Rosebud, a Catholic College for woman in Pennsylvania, is facing hard times. Because of the need for more funds to keep it in business, the College President, Carol Avirgine, said that the College can maintain the mission and grow by including men.

"Personally", Ms Avirgine said."I love men. I mean I really really love men. It's not fair that all these female teachers are getting a chance to "fool around" with their young male students; I've always been denied that pleasure. If we admitted men, well...." she trailed off with her eyes glazing over as she looked up toward the ceiling.

The student body also seemed quite pleased with the idea. "I've been here for two years, with no breaks to go home", an attractive young sophomore said, "If it weren't for magazines, I almost forgot what a penis looks like!".

The rest of the students were pretty much of the same opinion except for the "Lesbians of Love" better known as the "LOL" sorority. They felt that it would deprive the young "straight" girl students their chances of the experience of women loving women.

While there is a 560 man waiting line for application to the 500 member student body, Ms Avirgine said that the amount of applications would be no problem. "We'll just make the dorms three bed rooms instead of the present two beds.

Money is the main reason to allow men to the all girl college, but many of the students said they would gladly pay extra even if they found men who could not afford the yearly $1,250,000 tuition. "Why should a little thing like money deny a poor good looking hunk of a man a good education?

Meanwhile, the applications by women to Rosebud College have tripled and the faculty is considering buying a 50,000 acre field adjacent to the present college, for expansion. "I have no idea why we didn't consider this years ago when I was a much younger woman", said Ms Avirgine.

"Even if we lose the lesbian students to other colleges, we will have more than enough bodies to go around!", again, her eyes glazing over while small trickles of sweat formed on her forehead.

"Being in a women's Catholic College doesn't mean that we don't have the same wants or needs of women in other colleges", said Jayne Beaverbrook, "we just have no way to act them out". She went on to explain how, by admitting men to the college, the women at Rosebud will have a chance to experiment with sexy kinky stuff just like all the coed colleges.

Make W.D. Nelson's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 1?

3 16 4 5
57 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more