Written by victor nicholas
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Sunday, 18 May 2008

image for Hillary Swank wins Montucky Primary
Move over!

Hillary Swank was surprised to hear she has won the Montucky primary as a write-in candidate edging out other write-in candidates The Cat in the Hat, Fred Flintstone and Jack Daniels by a thin margin.

Two-time academy award winner Swank is no stranger to success hower she says that before the results were announced she was happy just to keep on making movies.

Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama did not campaign in the state and declined comment.

Montucky is traditionally fiercely independent. Most of the population of the scenic mountainous state still remains rural though some pockets of urbanization have started to appear with clusters of trailer parks here and there and some new money folk showing off their prosperity by openly sleeping in cars or milk-trucks.

The state leads the nation in illiteracy and has its own dialect which uses only twenty-three letters. In Montucky the "th" sound is pronounced using a "d" and "v" is pronounced using the letter "b'.

Initially it was thought that Swank won the primary by mistake as the Clinton camp did send a truck full of "Elect Hillary" posters to Montucky which were nailed up on trees across the state.

It turns out that Swank is a bit of darling in Montucky as she came from humble beginnings, growing up in a trailer park in Bellingham, Washington and living out of a car when she first moved to Los Angeles until her mother saved enough money to rent an apartment.

Swank is taking her newfound role as state champion seriously. She promises to help bring running water and NASCAR to the state and advocates adopting a twenty-six letter alphabet to keep up with the rest of the US.

"We want to be known as more than just a get-away haven for celebrities like Huey Lewis"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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