Cape Cod - (Fishy Business Mess): Senator Ted Kennedy was rushed into intensive care last night following the discovery of a giant fissure in his 22 November 1963 alibi.
NATO top brass has always maintained that all the ensuing plastic surgery to reconstruct Kennedy's face was never down to vanity.
"He and George W Bush had been spotted outside the Dallas Book Suppository earlier in the day and needed a miracle," a military intelligence source said today.
"They'd managed to hide the paper trail showing their Vatican hit-fees and John McCain's percentage rake-off.
"But without immediate rhinoplasty they'd have been pulled in and charged."
Kennedy, 73, has always prided himself in being a more accomplished drunk than his accomplice Bush.
But the latest destruction of his alibi sent him into a paroxysm of dread after former wife Joan agreed to a CIA plea-bargain.
Karl Rove is 69.