Written by victor nicholas
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Topics: Economy

Sunday, 18 May 2008

image for US to Peg Dollar to Rat's Ass
It doesn't look good for the economy

Fed chairman Ben Bernanke says "We were looking for a new stable pre-set intertemporally constant fixed asset to peg the greenback against, and the rat's ass was it".

The US dollar has been under siege lately due a combination of factors including the sub-prime interest scandal, declining house prices, soaring gold and oil prices and a commitment to fighting wars really far far away for reasons nobody can remember.

Bernanke surprised many by reverting from a fiat currency to one based on fungible assets. It seems that when the subject was brought up with the president Mr. Bush was reluctant to maintain a Fiat Currency while GM an Ford are not doing so well, "It just doesn't seem like the American thing to do."

Reverting back to the gold standard was not an option as the price of gold has increased as investors have flocked to it with the decline in the dollar. Pegging the dollar to it now would be disastrous. Defending the huge amounts of gold required in one location whether it's Fort Knox or elsewhere would simply be an open invitation for George Clooney and Brad Pitt to develop a devilishly clever plan to clean out the place and make US marines look foolish in the process. "I don't think we have a game plan to defend ourselves from those slick movie stars" admits Bernanke.

"The beauty of the rat's ass is that it is safely distributed in the streets and sewers of most cities. It is mobile, capable of evasive maneuvers, can defend itself when under attack on its own and right now its value is about as low as it can get."

"The dollar can only go up from here." Bernanke announced smugly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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