Written by SamIAm
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Topics: Jesus, Religion, cross

Thursday, 15 May 2008

image for Woman Wearing Cross Also Worships Bullet That Killed Best Friend
The gun that produced the sacred bullet that killed an innocent woman.

SAN ANTONIO - A woman who never leaves home without her cross on a chain reported today that she also glorifies the bullet that killed her friend who "was the greatest friend in the whole world" and was "closer than a sister."

"I miss her," said Tina Valdez, 27. "Lisa, my friend, saved my life once."

Valdez stated that her friend, Lisa Quinn, jumped in front of a mugger's bullet in order to save Valdez's life. Quinn was killed instantly.

"She didn't have to do that," said Valdez. "So, in her honor, I had the bullet that killed her put on a chain and I wear it every day."

Valdez reported that she kisses the bullet, pokes her finger into her chest to honor the spot where the bullet struck and killed her friend, kneels before a big statue of the bullet that slaughtered her friend, and even prays to the bullet that shattered and pulverized her best friend's heart.

"I think other people should honor this bullet too," said Valdez. "It is holy. I'm sure Lisa would agree that everyone should bow down and show reverence to the object responsible for snuffing out her young life. Lisa would want it that way."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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