Senator barracker Barack Obama today apologised to a woman for saying 'Phwoaarrrrrr! Nice ass, baby!' to reporter Peggy Page3star, at a press conference.
Getting on his knees, the senator burst into tears, and then mumbled: 'Miss Page3star, can you ever forgive me for my monstrous and evil behaviour? I beseech thee, sweetie-pie - oops, I've done it again!'
Mr. Obama also denied rumours that the American election has gone from trivial to farcical, saying 'If you vote for me, I promise to give you an entire dictionary of harmless words at my press conferences.'
But his main rival, Hillary Uglington, was very critical of Mr. Obama's actions. 'He should be taken out and shot for what he said, if not clubbed to death, and thrown into a vat of boiling oil full of spikes.'
However, speaking from his tent near Jerusalem, cowering under friendly fire from the Israeli Defence Force, President George 'Luvyahoney' Bush said: 'Hey, that Peggamy sure is pretty - hi Peggy, your legs still as nice?'
Bill Clinton was having dinner with Barack Obama's wife.