Written by ScottThe Dot
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Thursday, 15 May 2008

image for Angelina Jolie set to destroy own vagina
It's like a texas sink hole

Angeline Jolie, the big-lipped star of Tomb Raider today confirmed she was expecting twins thus abandoning any hope of retaining a youthful tuppence.

'It will be like a car-crash down there.' said the star of Hackers. 'Brad will be able to hear his own echo for days. He already is saying things about throwing sausages up a dark alley. I am aware of the risks but it doesn't bother me.'

Legions of male admirers are said to be devastated by the news. John Godwin from Kidderminster said 'I have always had a thing for her but now I could stick my whole head up there and still have room to wear my bike helmet. It isn't right, those twins are ruining it for everybody.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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