Angeline Jolie, the big-lipped star of Tomb Raider today confirmed she was expecting twins thus abandoning any hope of retaining a youthful tuppence.
'It will be like a car-crash down there.' said the star of Hackers. 'Brad will be able to hear his own echo for days. He already is saying things about throwing sausages up a dark alley. I am aware of the risks but it doesn't bother me.'
Legions of male admirers are said to be devastated by the news. John Godwin from Kidderminster said 'I have always had a thing for her but now I could stick my whole head up there and still have room to wear my bike helmet. It isn't right, those twins are ruining it for everybody.'