Written by Dennis Smith
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Topics: Sean Hannity

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

New York City, New York -- Rumors have been circulating for days saying that Sean Hannity, of the Fox TV Network, has enlisted in the US Army. Late yesterday, a recruiter in Hannity's hometown of Franklin Square, New York confirmed the rumors were true.

The recruiter was quoted by an AP reporter as saying, "Sean will be leaving for basic training at Ft. Jackson, South Carolina toward the end of May." He declined to give a definite date due to security concerns.

This morning Hannity met with reporters outside the Fox Studio. When asked why he had enlisted, Hannity stated: "Look, my two heroes are Vice President Cheney and my colleague, Bill O'Reilly. These two men fought valiantly in Vietnam as did President Bush. I feel I can do no less for my country in Iraq.

"I have requested to be sent directly to Sadr City immediately after basic training. I will do my best to make sure those (expletive deleted) Iraqis rue the day they rammed those planes into The World Trade Center towers."

When a reporter mentioned that no Iraqis were involved in 9-11, Hannity retorted, "There's the problem, you people are always ready to believe the facts over the truth."

None of the reporters made any further comment because no one knew what that meant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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