Charges against one of the 9/11 hijackers, a professional magician and illusionist, were dramatically dropped today.
Mohammed W. Bushi, a Saudi Arabian citizen, was in the employment of the CIA on the day that two jets crashed into the Twin Towers in New York, but only now have the American Government admitted it.
'Yes', said a CIA spokesman, from his son's White house in Washington D.C., 'we kept quiet about it all the time, and we kept quiet about his magical abilities too.'
Mr. Bushi performed one of the most incredible tricks in history on 9/11, managing to fly a jet undetected into New York City from hundreds of miles away, and avoiding the most professional and expensive computerised air defence system in the world.
However, after fooling the US Air Force jets, that are scrambled every week to intercept unidentified planes in minutes, he incredibly pulled off the trick a second time, not long after.
'He was amazing that day', a Mr. Xbush said from the Pentagon. 'He managed to make the two towers collapse, even though the builders had made it scientifically impossible to happen from being hit by any number of jets. And he even made the Towers fold perfectly, to make sure nearby Wall Street was completely undamaged.'
Some have tried to blame the Al-madeup organisation for the attacks, and others have pointed the finger at fanatical Muslim, and golf-buddy of the Bush family, Osama Bin-gamblinwithdubya.
However, a French government source merely shrugged, and said: 'So what? Only children believe in magic.'
And speaking from his official residence, the Queen's outside toilet, British Lame Minister, Gordon Brown, added: 'Anything you say, Mr. Bush, can I go now please? I want to see daddy do magic tricks before bedtime. Honest.'
Killer, terrorist and all-round pal of the CIA, Augusto Pinochet, was unavailable for criticism, but Mr.George H. Bush is available for magic at parties, and will make entire fascist dictatorships vanish out of the news in a few seconds.