Charleston, WV - Hillary Clinton won the West Virginia Democratic Primary today in overwhelming fashion. Sen. Clinton won by over 35% of the vote.
"We're gonna stay in this until the end!" declared the victorious Senator from New York. "It's on to Kentucky, South Dakota, Montana, Oregon and Puerto Rico!" she said. A Clinton campaign source told us on condition of anonymity that she intends on taking the nomination back from Obama as it was hers rightfully in the first place.
When asked for comment, the Obama spokesperson stated, "As we've stated in the past, West Virginia is just one of those states full of white, racist, gun-toting, bible-thumpers who can't stand the thought of a successful black man being in charge of the greatest nation in the world....a nation, I would remind you, built on the backs of millions of slaves who were brought here against their will to toil for no wages at all while being beaten mercilessly for no other reason than having a different skin color!"
After the overwhelming victory, Sen. Clinton was told, however, through a quirk in the Democrats' delegate awarding system, that although she had won in a huge landslide, all of West Virginias' 39 delegates would be awarded to Sen. Barack Obama due to the fact that the media, the pundits and everyone without a brain had already declared the process over, therefore making her name on the ballot null and void.