Written by Fish
Print this

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

image for 'Pantsuit Riots' Feared This Summer in Denver
Rosie O'Donnell Prepares for Denver

(Denver CO) Denver police are being warned to expect a riot this summer during the Democratic Convention. The rioters are expected to be Hillary supporters, and once their candidate loses, the Gates of Hell will open.

Authorities are expecting a pachyderm parade of over-50, over-weight, menopausal, women in pink pantsuits. Once Hillary loses, the parade will turn violent. All fast food outlets and donut shops will be closed for the convention as a precaution. Underweight people will be targets for the rioters and are being urged not to attend any events.

"We are redesigning our jails to handle these monstrous butterballs." says Chief of Police Gomez Addams. "Specially designed tow trucks will harpoon the rioters and drag them away. Tranquilizer dart guns for elephants will be used."

Many fear an earthquake will happen with so many fat pigs wondering the streets. Scientists say if the Hillary supporters all sat down at once it could unleash an 8.0 quake.

"We expect the average Hillary supporter to look, smell and act as awful as Rosie O'Donnell. It will not be a nice summer in Denver. Fat slobs for Hillary, please stay home." said Chief Addams.

Make Fish's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 2?

2 4 14 21
108 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more