Smarmy young republican butt-suck Henry Hager should be careful what he wishes for. Now he's shackled to druken sex-crazed skank Jenna Bush. Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time. Hell, it beats going over to the war, something no elite scumbag's kids would ever think of doing.
The creepy little blow-hole is a former Karl Rove intern. I suppose Jena will make a fine beard, just like her mother. The evil little git she will marry is the son of lying tobacco scumbag and Boss of the Virginia Repug party, Assface Hager. What a klan.
Suggested wedding gifts for the happy couple: feces pie, crack cocaine, worthless bonds and stocks from your old 401K, gas cards, bridge cards, arch cards, dildoes, ky-jelly, subscriptions to gay porn, contraceptives, Black Mass implements, baby-skewers, testicles.
In other news: Willy Wonka Sentenced to 10 years for Looting Ompa Loompa's Pension Plan
Wonka stock fell today on reports that Chocolate Magnate Willy Wonka has been sentenced to serve 10 years in federal prison for looting the pension plan of his workers. He was also found guilty of involuntary servitude, kidnapping and selling unsafe products.