Written by SeanFallon
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Friday, 9 May 2008

image for Obama Picks Michael Jackson as New Spiritual Advisor

After Barack Obama has distanced himself from cult leader Jeremiah Wright, he has found a new spiritual advisor who is more in tune with human nature. Who is it? Legendary pop star, Michael Jackson!

Michael Jackson has offered this advice, "Blaming all of your problems on people of a different religion or skin color leaves you with a mentality that is no better than Hitler's." He then continued, "It doesn't matter if you're black or white; if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at YOURSELF and make a change."

Obama took this advice, and changed his view on abortion. While some are accusing him of flip-flopping, Obama insists, "I have realized that I can't one minute complain that people were denied the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, due to their skin color, and then turn around and deny those very same rights to the unborn, due to their age or lack thereof. That would be hypocrisy of the most deplorable kind."

When Hillary Clinton was asked what she thought about Michael Jackson, she merely replied, "He's bad, bad, bad, really, really bad."

Michael Jackson responded to her, "Shum on. You just wanna be startin' something. Defeating you will be as easy as 1.2.3. Just beat it!"

Obama, under the influence of Michael Jackson, has a new goal for his presidency, if elected, "We need to heal the world, make it a better place, for you, and for me, and the ENTIRE HUMAN race."

While some conservatives are very happy about Obama's new outlook, others think it is all a charade, and that he is merely a smooth criminal. Either way, this off the wall battle for the democrat nomination will prove to be a real thriller.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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