Written by misha marinsky
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Topics: New York, War, New Jersey

Friday, 9 May 2008

image for New York Declares War On New Jersey
NYS Guard

ALBANY - At a press conference held here today in New York State's capital, Governor David Paterson announced that New York State has formally declared war on New Jersey.

"We have a lot of unemployed Iraq war National Guardsmen, and nothing stimulates the economy like mobilization," Governor Paterson said. "Additionally, New York's manufacturing base has been decimated, and we want to be in possession of New Jersey's manufacturing facilities, which rightfully should be ours."

Governor Paterson said "New York troops are crossing the state line as I speak." He went on to say "I feel confident that the New York National Guard will be in possession of all New Jersey assets by noon, tomorrow."

He then said he will meet with New Jersey governor John Corzine at a Jersey City Starbucks to negotiate the terms of surrender.

"We want to be regarded as magnanimous and benign," Governor Paterson stated.

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