WASHINGTON - In his search for the perfect scapegoat, George Bush today announced that he would accept Donald Rumsfeld's resignation and immediately appoint Michael Jackson as America's new Secretary of Defense.
Bush, who referred to Jackson as "Iraqo Jacko" told reporters that he needed a new scapegoat and that Jackson had more than enough qualifications for the position.
"That boy has been defending himself against various charges for years and he'll bring that unique talent to the war effort," Bush told reporters. "He's just weird enough to be blamed for anything."
Jackson called a special press conference at Neverland to inform the press he would accept Bush's offer. In his hormone-induced falsetto, Jackson told reporters, "I also have a lot of great ideas about U.S. child care and I feel the president will be open to my suggestions."
More on this breaking story as it develops…