Written by Chuck Barber
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Monday, 10 May 2004

Washington, D.C. -- President Bush astounded supporters, local ministers and staff at a prayer breakfast this morning when he stood suddenly, looked about as if in a daze, and began spouting what sounded like gibberish to those present.

According to witnesses as he spoke he seemed to awake from the daze, and spoke more and more forcefully, articulating rapidly for most of a minute before Karl Rove, sitting at another table rose and apparently began interpreting for the President.

At first no one could understand the words the President was using. "It sounded like ‘abba gabba gabba bleelo flooma geehaw doovqar poochang chanog. Veelac zoobee heemar ta dongo. Uuu tar chanange woo haa feefar tooma,' but I might have it wrong in part," said long time Washington insider, Dirk Blackwell. "But once Rove stood up it all made sense."

According to accepted pre-millennial, fundamentalist theology, when one is given the gift of "The Tongues" by God another in close proximity is also given the gift of translating the ancient tongue. Many fundamentalists believe the language spoken by the ‘receptive' is that spoken by everyone on earth before the building of the Tower of Babel. Others, considered modernists amongst the fundamentalists, hold that the "Tongue Talk' is one of several dozen ‘Angel' languages or dialects. The language or dialect spoken is usually interpreted as part of the message of the ‘blessing' - blessing is the term often used to describe the event.

According to Blackwell, and confirmed by others at the prayer breakfast, when Rove stood he too appeared to be ‘possessed of a daze.' "He stared at the President for a moment then in a sing-song began to almost chant: ‘This is God speaking to you. I sit on the golden throne next to my son and your saviour, Jesus the Christ. We are both pleased with you and the direction you are taking the United States - the true chosen state. Praise be to us, George W. Bush - faithful servant. Praise be to you as well. Now, my son, continue to be President of these great United States and guide the world with your hand, knowing that mine guides yours. I, the God of the Jews, Muslims and Christians have spoken."

As Rove finished President Bush slumped back into his chair apparently exhausted. Rove, too sank heavily into his seat. For some length of time no one spoke, then as Bush and Rove seemed to recover the breakfast continued.

Little was said of the divine presence until the closing prayer when the Reverend Hobart Juniper thanked God for his revelations. Neither President Bush nor Mr. Rove could remember any details of the ‘blessing.' The president reportedly shook his head when informed of his part in the religious drama which played out this morning then said, " Uhhh . . . God does move in mysterious ways."

After the breakfast, debate broke out amongst the ministers present as to which language the president had spoken. Several of the older ministers argued in favor of the pre-Babel language while most of the younger ministers forcibly stated their opinion that the message was spoken in ‘Angel talk.' However, no one present was able to discern which Angel dialect the President might have been speaking. All were agreed, it was unprecedented.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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