Hillary Clinton stunned democratic supporters by announcing her withdrawal from the nomination race in a foul mouthed, drunken tirade.
"If you want to vote for that guy, be my guest mother f***ers. I never liked you anyway. Why don't you love me? eh? eh? What did I do? Is it cos I am a woman? Is it because I am black? Why don't you love me? You're all just like Bill.' sobbed the former first lady as she swigged from a bottle of Nob Creek whisky.
John McCain was said to be devastated at her withdrawal stating 'I could have beaten her, even without fixing the voting machines. I can't beat Obama though. The force is strong with that one.'