Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Gay, Crime

Sunday, 1 June 2008

image for Local Boy Made Good, Makes Bad with Foreigner
Their motivation was sex and an addiction to 'sterile rubber nipples'

Local man Timmy Tailor overcame his drug dependence and addiction to badly-dubbed Spaghetti westerns to become a loyal and trustworthy member of the local community - that was until the day he met a foreign language student from Mexico, named Pablo.

The two men embarked on a torrid anti-social love affair which included a spree of shoplifting across the town, stuffing their man bags with cheap trinkets from tacky corner stores before moving on to harder crimes such as public nudity, speaking backwards and assault with a TV remote control.

Police officers used tazer's and poison dart guns to try and catch the duo, but their youthful exuberance and agility was too much for the donut munching authorities.

The pair were eventually apprehended hiding out in a cave off 'Psycho Killer Lane', a popular lovers meeting place.

"We are shocked that Timmy could turn bad so fast", said the local Mayor of the local town, "the bad influence of thieving Mexican bastards is probably the cause".

All Mexicans within a 20-mile radius of the town must now wear a big red target on their backs.

"This has nothing whatsoever to do with the delivery to our local gun club of a new shipment of armor-piercing weapons with a 20 mile range", added the unusually chirpy Mayor.

Timmy has been re-housed in a secure environment where he is undergoing extensive 're-education' in being a good 'local'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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