A plane carrying Hillary Clinton just ditched in the Atlantic Ocean this evening on the way back to New York from Indianapolis Indiana according to an invisible man in my garage who sits on a flaming rope.
A terror attack by Al-Qaeda was not ruled out but probably not the real reason for the plane having to ditch in the water since the real reason was that it ran out of fuel and as everyone knows Al-Qaeda has plenty of fuel so they couldn't have run out of fuel but the aircraft did.
Luckily for all onboard the Bombardier Challenger 605 widebody business jet, Ms. Clintoon's pantsuit was invented by Der Homeland Security's own "Terror Engineers" who work in secret in Scotland. They are technically "Scottish Terror Engineers".
The inflatable pantsuit was made for this exact emergency. When the plane splashed to a halt in the water, Hillary immediately flopped out into the water and pulled a ring on the inside hem of the pantsuit and saved everyone by inflating her pantsuit and inviting everyone onboard to hop on.
She popped out a filling in one of her teeth that when touched by water inflated into a 90 horsepower motorboat engine. They were able to make it back to shore in about 30 minutes. Everyone was saved.
The Terror Engineer team is working on how to close the US border using the shredded paper recycled from the White House and making it into a large wall with gun turrets and barbed wire.