Written by Chuck Barber
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Topics: Government, Meat

Sunday, 9 May 2004

Lexington, KY Toothless, slavering, overall-wearing hillbillies demanding more free government issue possum meat have apparently detonated a large explosive device in Lexington, Kentucky.

Initial reports indicate that the League of United Hill People (LUHP) have taken credit for the explosion which demolished much of downtown Lexington.

Communicating via pigeon mail the LUHP claimed that dispersals of free possum meat have not been as forthcoming as the promises of same from the Governor's office.

Hiram Goodlow, a woodsman from Dogleg, KY, and spokesman for the LUHP stated in a recently released P-mail note that: "Ain't nary a one a us ‘et no possum ‘cept what we caught, in a good spell."

The explosive device is said by eye witnesses to have resembled a huge still and was carried into place in the back of a pickup truck. Authorities are working under the assumption that the moonshine bomb was detonated by the owner of the truck, Jeddidiah Lee with a cigarette. Unseen since the explosion, apparently Lee died in the initial conflagration.

Reaction in the region was subdued. One Ohio man spoke for many when he said: "It's just typical of what you get over across the river."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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