Washington - Today, President George W. Bush held a press conference at the White House where he unveiled his new plan to strengthen the U.S. economy.
The plan will involve a 10,000 percent increase in income tax for all U.S. citizens falling below the income line for upper middle-class individuals and families. The plan also requires that all money be taken away from everyone falling below that tax bracket and giving it to fat rich bastards.
"Americans need to understand the value of hard work, sacrifice, and giving goodies to fat, rich bastards," the President said. "Therefore, I'm taking everybody's money and giving it to the obscenely wealthy, who are desperately trying to buy more islands in the Caribbean and sock cash away in off-shore accounts while they bask like beached whales by the pool at some snooty-ass country club."
The President's new "Take Everybody's Money" initiative will require that broad, executive, military powers be given to the IRS. The plan also called for the nation's poor to be sold into slavery. However, this aspect of the plan was scrapped once it was pointed out that working for minimum wage already amounts to slavery.
The plan goes into effect retroactively, with all U.S. citizens being billed, at gunpoint, for all the money they've made since the ‘70's.