Written by W.D. Nelson
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Topics: Police, Yankees

Saturday, 3 May 2008

image for New York Media Disrupts Newark NJ Police Undercover Sting; Newark Police Not Very Happy
A Newark Policeman Removing Media Vehicles.

Newark, NJ - The local Newark Police Undercover Unit set up a sting operation by sending out notices that the recipient of this letter has been randomly picked to receive two baseline tickets to a New York Yankee game.

Since the "House That Ruth (Babe - Not Baby) Built" which is what the present Yankee Stadium is called, will be torn down at the end of this season, this is the year that everyone wants to watch a game in the stadium at least one more time.

The tickets, unbeknownst to the recipient's, were sent only to convicted felons who have not been able to be apprehended or missed their probation dates and had warrants out for their arrest. When these people showed up to claim their tickets, uniformed Newark police officers would be there to arrest them as they went behind a curtain to accept their free tickets.

Unfortunately, in their haste to "out-scoop" the other, the New York media outlets got wind of this and rushed to the address in the letter, setting up their lights, news vans, large disc antennas and their reporters and cameras in front of the building. Needless to say, no one showed up for the tickets and the police had to shut the sting operation down.

They did, however, issue tickets to the illegally parked news vans and towed them to the Newark Impound Lot where the news stations are charged $500 per day until they are retrieved. Several of the newscaster's and crew were also arrested for possession of marijuana, cocaine and various other sandwich bags full of pills and were held without bail until their court dates are announced, which are expected to be within two to three months.

"If the New York Media wants to fuck with us", one Newark Policeman said under promise of anonymity, "we'll fuck 'em right back!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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