Written by Zander Kaufman

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Topics: Parents, Ugly

Sunday, 9 May 2004

image for New study shows ugly parents more likely to have ugly children

Virgin Utah-

Steve White, head scientist at Kramer labs held a press conference today showing new findings from a five year fact finding mission based solely in the state of Utah. The study showed that Parents that are ugly are as much as ten time more likely to have ugly children as are their grandchildren.

White explained that the study consisted of taking thousands of pictures of parents with there children at social events like church functions, malls and sports events.

"We were all pretty shocked. We found out of one hundred ugly families over eighty had ugly offspring" Said white.
What was even more shocking is that Mormon families were more likely to have this dilemma.

The official name for this problem is "Facial-Magmata-Degeneration" a problem held by as many as seventy million American families.

"Clearly there need to be some control before this problem gets out of hand and well all look like freaking inbreeds", said white

Speaking of in-breeding we asked White if that was a factor in this epidemic. "Yes, that may in fact have bearing in this study. But then you have to remember this is Utah"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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