Just when you think the democrats have trash talked each other enough, played off of the other's weaknesses incessantly, and essentially man slaughtered one another to the point of no return, a bad rash appears.
This rash came in the shape of a former pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago and boy was Obama (b)itching fervently.
Engaging in countless off-color, unpatriotic, and downright racially intolerable speeches during the past couple of days in front of national television, Reverend Wright shocked Americans and placed Obama on the defensive.
Obama has been denying his affiliation with his pastor but Reverend Wright has launched into his own campaign to destroy Obama and is receiving inordinate amounts of press attention.
Yesterday, however, Obama decided to take matters into his own hands, literally.
Armed with an AK47, some pepper spray, and tidbits of what appeared to be the remains of KFC on his suit, Obama swaggered his way to Reverend Wright's Church in Chicago and began shouting out foul words and challenging Mr. Wright to a duel.
"C'mon n*****, hoo thuh hell you thank you is?!" A wild eyed Obama screeched.
Reverend Wright suddenly glided out of the Church to meet the possible presidential candidate.
"Barack, you don't have to do this," Mr. Wright calmly replied, "If it means anything. I've decided to put an end to my controversial speeches against you."
Obama reached for his back pocket and pulled out an AK47.
"I'ph waded too lawng fo dis moment," Obama placed his hand on the trigger.
Reverend Wright began speaking in tongues.
Obama pulled the trigger.
But, to his utter dismay, water trickled out.
Wright fell to the ground, began moaning and twitching.
"Wut da…" Obama pulled the trigger again, but found a puddle of water around Mr. Wright, instead of a puddle of blood.
"Reverend get up," Obama defeated said, "You aren't dead. You aren't even injured. Someone swapped my gun with a squirt gun."
Mr. Wright opened his eyes to stare up at his wannabe murderer.
"Are, are you sure?" He tried.
Obama shook his head, "Yup. Get up."
"Oh, well uh, in that case…"
Reverend Wright sat up. An army of about 500 enraged African American religious zealots charged toward Senator Obama. He has not been seen since.
Reports just came in stating that Hilary Clinton exchanged Obama's machine gun with a water gun just the day before.