(Washington DC) Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice is perceived both inside and outside the Bush Administration as smart, savvy and sober. Those perceptions may change after a bizarre news conference she gave yesterday to reporters in front of the White House. The Spoof.com covered the event:
"Hello again, I first want to make a statement defending myself." said Ms. Rice. "To begin with I'm upset. I'm upset about all this news about rice whoring. I am not a whore and have never been a whore. Except maybe that one time at school, but I was very drunk and very young. Stop printing stories about rice whoring, please!"
Mr. Fish from TheSpoof.com patiently explained to Ms. Rice the stories were about hoarding--not whoring. They are two different things.
"Well OK then, I guess that's good!" the Secretary grinned dimly. "Second thing is all the stories about a rice shortage. I'm still the same height. I think I remember being short as a baby or something."
Mr. Fish again patiently explained the difference between a shortage and being short to the confused Secretary.
"Well that's OK then too, I guess! And guess what everyone?? I'm not a real secretary! I don't know how to type too good and stuff. Sometimes I like to file papers and play with the stapler. So now everyone have a real nice day, you hear? And I'm glad you all don't think I'm a whore or short or anything!"
Ms. Rice then passed out on the stuff she was either smoking or drinking and the news conference ended abruptly.