Washington AC/DC - (Fruit-Rustling Mess): President Bush has complained to the secret service that pesky Mexicans have been stealing White House blackberries.
"And the raspberries, strawberries, loganberries, blueberries and all my other fruit," the furious commander-in-chief bellowed today.
"Laura's been specially raising them fruit for Jenna's Wedding Breakfast dessert," Bush added furiously.
"What we gonna feed the guests with now I don't know.
"But whoever's responsible will surely pay!"
The President's outburst comes amid reports that Mexican press attache Rafael Quintero Curiel was caught sneaking into White House greenhouses allegedly looking for proof of White House green house gas emissions.
One secret service source said today that when they caught him Curiel said he was just testing the fruit for carbon monoxide poisoning before promptly throwing up over twenty kilos of reddish-purple gunk.
Jenna Bush is 29.