Washington AC/DC - (Lurid Ass Mess): Barack Obama said today he will not scrape the bottom of the proverbial barrel to dredge up ancient unpublicised Clinton scandals.
"I'm more than happy for some of these crazy Spoof! humorists do that for me," the presidential hopeful said today.
"In fact, I'm delighted to assign my top ten filthiest Bill 'n' Hill stories to those spoofy wackos, starting with that business of Hillary's ex Rose Law partner Vincenzo Fosterini 'suiciding' himself.... with three bullets to the temple!
"Then there's an unexplained $25 million of moneylaundered Mossad funds that whistled in and out of the Rose Law firm circa 1988 where 10% was pared off into Hugh Rodham's escrow account before disappearing into an anonymnous Belize PO box number.
"I could go on. But why bother? These Spoof! writers will be covering everything from the Clintons' P2 Lodge ties in the Whitewater fiasco to the CIA's as yet unpublished report on that White House Travel Orifice business that very nearly blew Hillary's KGB cover.
"But I digress. I just wanted to say...er, VOTE OBAMA!"
Chelsea Clinton died circa 1982 and was replaced by a clone.