Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Black, Dance, Hurts

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

image for White Guy With No Rhythm Injures 12 In Nightclub
Dave won't be 'bustin' no moves' for the foreseable future

A white man with no rhythm has injured 12 bystanders while doing some crazy dancing in a nightclub.

Dave Brown, 30, arrived at the predominantly black club in his local town. Security presumed he was just some honkey 'bee-atch' with aspiration to be cool so they let him through without much hassle. Had they known what was going to ensue they would have blocked his entry.

"Everything was going fine", said Princess Jones, a regular customer at the popular nightspot, "until he arrived".

They should have realized something bad was going to happen when Dave Brown went up to the mixing desk and handed the DJ a record to play. The innocent DJ politely accepted, thinking that the uncool white guy was a representative from some record company eager to promote some talent.

But Dave was no record promoter. And the record was a Neil Sedaka album from his 'personal' collection - Neil Sedaka recording mixed with the 1970's disco version of Beethoven's 5th.

"If we thought the music was whack", added Princess, "we didn't know the half of it. Shee-it! That white honkey started movin' like a crazy person. Little skinny white ass and arms flailing around like crazy windmills".

Emergency units reported that 12 black folk had been injured - 3 with serious injuries to their backs and the remainder just abrasions to their elbows and ankles.

Dave has been banned for life from dancing in a public place and has yet to face criminal prosecution for 'obscene white-guy moves' in a enclosed environment - which carries a mandatory sentence of 120 years hard labor in a Ukrainian death camp.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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