Written by Zander Kaufman
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Topics: Channel 4, Weather

Friday, 7 May 2004

image for Local weather man goes ape after ill-predicted weekend forecast
Officer Spud Crowley connects a phone line to reach Flowers

Omaha, Nebraska-
Stan Flowers a local weather man for WOAX channel 4, forecasted a bright sunny rain free weekend, weather great for the whole family to enjoy.

However that was not the case. For two days straight a savage wind brought forth rain and hail from the northwest ruining the weekend for many Hartland families.

Flowers had not ill-predicted a forecast for eight years as chief meteorologist at WOAX. Flowers did not show up for work Monday and was absent for three days following. Flowers' wife and co-workers worried for his safety filed a missing persons report.

Early this morning Flowers showed up at work, only he did not use his security key to enter the building, he had breached the stations security door with a stilson wrench and an axe. He then breached the roof top door and proceeded to destroy the Doppler radar dome on top of the station's roof.

"It's not my fault it rained!, it's the Doppler, it told me what to say!" Flowers said as recalled by Mark Harold a night shift maintenance worker at the station. "he looked like he was going mad, he was just chopping at everything with that axe" said Harold.

It was then that another late shift worked called the police. The Omaha police arrived when Flowers was somewhere on the fifth floor. He had taken three hostages at axe point and is currently holding the police at bay. It has been seven hours since flowers breakdown.

He has yet to tell the police his demands, however a police spokes person has told the spoof "If he doesn't corporate soon they may be forced to go in guns blazing".
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We will continue to bring you updates as they come forward live and in real time
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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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