Washington AC/DC -(Ass Mess): Over 100 prominent lobotomists catering to the GOP brain-dead are believed to be backing Sen John McCain's White House bid.
The news has been greeted with derision by Democrats who say these cranial surgeons are incompetent bunglers responsible for implanting past-sell-by political aspiration chips into the ageing septuagenarian's frontal lobe.
"Some of these brain surgeons also sold us a sober and abstinent George W Bush," a Capitol Hill source commented.
"All it took was a Clean & Serene microchip inserted under his medulla oblongata, activated by Pentagon micro-wave frequencies in the control of Gen Colon Bowel.
"Fat lot of good that did."
DC analysts meanwhile are watching with astonishment as McCain continues building up his bungler network, oblivious of powerful Wall Street sources that give the old soak less than four weeks before the Grim Reaper comes calling, cap in hand.